Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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