I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
