oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I believe in your delicious
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
