At least make sure they are 18
Why
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
