so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
