Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
