I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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