god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
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he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
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I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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