she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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