She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
