R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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