Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
