I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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