Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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