you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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