college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
