two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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