3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
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I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
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You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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