Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Sarre hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!

Fav 32 970 6402
share tweet
(803): View more from South Carolina

For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.

Fav 3 1551 2057
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(229): View more from Georgia

No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry

Fav 6 2860 1205
share tweet
(561): View more from Florida

Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed

Fav 9 2847 1132
share tweet
(719): View more from Colorado

Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.

Fav 13 3751 885
share tweet
(469): View more from Texas

How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?

Fav 9 622 1943
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.

Fav 1 935 510
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(520): View more from Arizona

I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.

Fav 0 17 27
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(561): View more from Florida

I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.

Fav 0 64 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT