You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
