I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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