I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
