There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
