then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
