turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
