wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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