What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
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He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
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Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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