apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize