i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
