what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
