mondays should just be called national damage control day
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
