I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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