I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize