I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Holy shit dude........stairs
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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