Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
