I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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