question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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