Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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