dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
