Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
