we have officially lost it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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