Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
