I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
