Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
