Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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