Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Randomize
