Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
