Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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