We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize