p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
