RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
