I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
