Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
