I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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