my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
