He disabled his match.com account in front of me
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You need a sexual gate keeper
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
