Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
In America we eat man semen.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
