Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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