were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she peed on how many people?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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