I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
